bellyitcher

Mmmm...our rotation. For the offensive categories, pitchers are rated against each other, not position players. I'm starting with the fifth slot, which will be split between Rick Ankiel and Matt Morris.

It's going to be hard to get an accurate reading for Rick since he's been...gone for a while.

ON FIELD

1. Defense
   i. Hustle (5) Start getting worried if he can't throw to first. 7 points.
   ii. Agility (7) In his first appearance in 2004, he jumped to bare-hand a line drive (luckily, he missed). 11 points.
   iii. Catcher? (5/0) No. 0 points.
   iv. Awareness (4) All I want him thinking about is pitching. 6 points.
   v. Defensive Stance (6) I like watching him pitch. 11 points.
   vi. Pitching Face (5/0) Mostly, he just swallows his lips. 5 points.
   
2. Offense
   i. Hustle (5) I'd almost rather not see pitchers running all out. 7 points.
   ii. Batting Stance/Face (6) I don't remember. 6 points.
   iii. Power & Average (6) Um. Well. He walked in half his plate appearances last year (2). Actually, he's pretty good. 10 points.
   iv. Line Drive v. Fly Ball (3) It's fine. 3 points.
   v. Chatty (3) No idea. 3 points.
   vi. Selflessness (7) I think he'll do whatever anyone wants as long as he gets to play. 12 points.
   
3. Dugout/Clubhouse
   i. Press Conferences (4) He doesn't want to talk about it. 6 points.
   ii. Quotes (4) He really doesn't wanna talk about it (and Jim Edmonds will beat you up if you ask). Otherwise, he's just glad to be pitching again. 4 points.
   iii. Chatty (4) He's all over the place. 8 points.
   iv. Fights (3) I wonder if any Cubbies will take offense if they're plunked? 3 points.
   

OFF FIELD

1. Personal Hygiene (8) No more highlights! 14 points.
   
2. Commercials - local (4) No. 0 points.
   
3. Commercials – national (5) No. 0 points.
   
4. Commercials - MLB (5) No. 0 points.
   
5. Dress (5) Much improved. 9 points.
   
6. Rumors (3) Well, he sorta had this thing where it kinda looked like he was a headcase. 5 points.
   
7. Awards (3) None. 0 points.
   

So Ricky gets 125.

ON FIELD

1. Defense
   i. Hustle (5) If his shoulder is fixed, nobody has to do much of anything. 7 points.
   ii. Agility (7) The word "lithe" doesn't spring to mind. 9 points.
   iii. Catcher? (5/0) No. 0 points.
   iv. Awareness (4) He better know by now. 8 points
   v. Defensive Stance (6) Eh. 8 points.
   vi. Pitching Face (5/0) Sometimes he looks like his face is melting a la the Nazi in Raiders of the Lost Ark. 3 points.
   
2. Offense
   i. Hustle (5) Good enough. 8 points.
   ii. Batting Stance/Face (6) Kinda boring, even for a pitcher. 5 points.
   iii. Power & Average (6) In the last four years, Morris has had 10, 12, 10, and 10 hits, scoring 5, 4, 5, and 4 runs. At least he is consistent. 9 points.
   iv. Line Drive v. Fly Ball (3) When he flies out, it's to right. That doesn't help if someone's on first. 4 points.
   v. Chatty (3) I got on base!! 3 points.
   vi. Selflessness (7) Matty had his first sac fly in 2004. 11 points.
   
3. Dugout/Clubhouse
   i. Press Conferences (4) Jokey and straightforward. 7 points.
   ii. Quotes (4) We know he doesn't like the Cubs. 8 points.
   iii. Chatty (4) Unless he totally sucked. 6 points.
   iv. Fights (3) It's harder to get tossed if you throw behind a batter. 6 points.
   

OFF FIELD

1. Personal Hygiene (8) I've never been a fan of the soul-patch. 11 points.
   
2. Commercials - local (4) No. 0 points.
   
3. Commercials – national (5) No. 0 points.
   
4. Commercials - MLB (5) No. 0 points.
   
5. Dress (5) Strikes me a t-shirt & jeans guy. 10 points.
   
6. Rumors (3) Not really. 3 points.
   
7. Awards (3) Nope. 0 points.
   

127 points for Matty Mo.

Pitchers are hard to figure. They aren't going to go horizontal to snare a liner, they aren't chasing down fly balls. I suppose I could make a new category for types of pitches thrown, break of curve ball, movement on pitches, but I'm not good at recognizing that stuff on TV.

Should have been Reggie, Jimmy, Larry. Oh, well.

ON FIELD

1. Defense
   i. Hustle (5) Sanders will make every effort to get to the ball, even if he has to go in every cardinal (ha ha [sorry]) direction. 9 points.
   ii. Agility (7) Mm. Yes. 12 points.
   iii. Catcher? (5/0) No. 0 points.
   iv. Awareness (4) He probably knows NL parks better than anyone. 8 points.
   v. Defensive Stance (6) Reggie's in good shape. 11 points.
   vi. Pitching Face (5/0) No. 0 points.
   
2. Offense
   i. Hustle (5) Good baserunner and the fastest guy on the team now. 9 points.
   ii. Batting Stance/Face (6) He does a little hop. Ick. 9 points.
   iii. Power & Average (6) 2005 is an odd year.... 9 points.
   iv. Line Drive v. Fly Ball (3) The K's, my god, the K's! And some pop-ups. 4 points.
   v. Chatty (3) "I know you weren't throwing elbows, but it looked like you were throwing elbows." 5 points.
   vi. Selflessness (7) This is not a problem. 13 points.
   
3. Dugout/Clubhouse
   i. Press Conferences (4) He's good at press conferences. 8 points.
   ii. Quotes (4) Reggie doesn't dress stuff up with cliches. 7 points.
   iii. Chatty (4) Once, in the dugout, Reggie, Rolen, and the-shortstop-who-must-not-be-named were sitting with their bats and helmets. Reggie and TSSWMNBN imitated every move Rolen made. 8 points.
   iv. Fights (3) He came to the defense of the phone in Houston. 5 points.

OFF FIELD

1. Personal Hygiene (8) Such a nice smile. 15 points.
2. Commercials - local (4) No. 0 points.
3. Commercials – national (5) No. 0 points.
4. Commercials - MLB (5) No. 0 points.
5. Dress (5) I have no idea, but I'm guessing just fine. 7 points.
6. Rumors (3) I don't think I've ever heard one bad thing about Sanders. 3 points.
7. Awards (3) Sadly, no. But I'm going to give him points because after the NLCS Game 7 celebration, he went out to the field with his family. 3 points.

Total: 145.

From USA Today's Sports Weekly:

PAY UP!

Bob Nightengale

It boggles the mind that clubs won't blink paying their players an extra $1 million or so, but when it comes time to pay their employees, they act bankrupt. The Cardinals, for example, better hurry and come to their senses before it's too late because they're on the verge of losing general manager Walt Jocketty, the 2004 Executive of the year, perhaps to the Diamondbacks.

Jocketty, widely considered one of the finest GMs in the game, is on the verge of resigning and accepting another GM job if the Cardinals don't re-sign him soon. His contract expired Dec. 31, 2004, and the Cardinals' ownership has yet to sign him to an extension.

St. Louis offered Jocketty a 3-year, $2.1 million extension — paying him $650,000, $700,000 and $750,000 — well below market price considering Jocketty's tenure. Jocketty, 54, not only would remain one of the lowest-paid GMs in baseball, but he would be paid nearly one-third of what GMs John Hart of Texas and David Dombrowski of Detroit get. They earn $2 million a year.

"I'd like to work out something here, but nothing's been done yet," said Jocketty, whose teams have reached the postseason in three of the past four years. "Several clubs have expressed an interest. If nothing happens shortly, I'll have to look at that."

The Diamondbacks and at least one other club have informed Jocketty that they're extremely interested in him if he leaves.

I can't believe this is even an issue. Somebody must be smoking crack. Jocketty doesn't have a perfect record, but who does? This is just the stupidest thing I've heard all off-season. I'm going to believe it's just a leak to shame ownership into giving him more money.

For all that is good and right in the world - pay the man.

I was completely remiss in the original Watchability Factor for Jim Edmonds. I forgot all about the press conferences on mlb.com. Now that I've watched them, here's Jimmy again:

ON FIELD

1. Defense
   i. Hustle (5) I’d say about 90% of the time, yes. 9 points
   ii. Agility (7) For a 34 year-old, Jimmy’s pretty...uh...limber. 12 points.
   iii. Catcher? (5/0) No. 0 points.
   iv. Awareness (4) Again, he has his moments, but yeah. 7 points.
   v. Defensive Stance (6) He leans over nicely. 11 points.
   vi. Pitching Face (5/0) No. 0 points.
2. Offense
   i. Hustle (5) He also runs nicely. 7 points.
   ii. Batting Stance/Face (6) Jim gets extra points here because of his swing. Unfortunately, they’re negated by his tendency to stand in the box like he’s at a cocktail party at least once a game. Plus, he doesn’t really have a "Batting Face" unless you count playing with his contacts. 10 points.
   iii. Power & Average (6) Yup. 10 points.
   iv. Line Drive v. Fly Ball (3) How about both? 6 points.
   v. Chatty (3) Jimmy’s very chatty. He talks to the catcher, umpire, first baseman. Or, he bitches to the catcher, umpire, first baseman. 3 points.
   vi. Selflessness (7) He is usually willing to sacrifice an at-bat, his body, or his pride. 12 points.
3. Dugout/Clubhouse
   i. Press Conferences (4) He answers the questions honestly with only a few cliches. 7 points.
   ii. Quotes (4) Re: Cubs: "They've got a guy making gestures on the mound, pointing at people, and someone hopping to first base, and I'm the one who's not professional?" That alone is worth 8 points.
   iii. Chatty (4) Chatty but not silly. 6 points.
   iv. Fights (3) I don't think he's started any, but he'd be out there. 4 points.

OFF FIELD

1. Personal Hygiene (8) Sometimes Jim doesn’t shave (in a lovely Indiana Jones way) and he no longer highlights his hair. He wears a half-shirt. 14 points.
2. Commercials - local (4) Nope. 0 points
3. Commercials – national (5) Nope. 0 points.
4. Commercials - MLB (5) Yep. And he looked gooood. 10 points.
5. Dress (5) Aside from the terrible, terrible half-shirt incident (my corneas are still recovering), not too bad. 8 points.
6. Rumors (3) Oh, there are some juicy rumors about our guy Jimmy. 6 points.
7. Awards (3) Six Gold Gloves. 5 points.

So that's 155 points, between Albert and Scott.

Larry Walker has only been with the Cards since August, but I think that's enough time to evaluate his Watchability.

ON FIELD

1. Defense
   i. Hustle (5) Yes, but I'm afraid he's gonna get hurt. 8 points.
   ii. Agility (7) Remember that ball he caught in his elbow? But he is getting a little long in the tooth. 11 points.
   iii. Catcher? (5/0) No. 0 points.
   iv. Awareness (4) He knows what's going on. 8 points.
   v. Defensive Stance (6) He's a big guy, so not so great. 9 points.
   vi. Pitching Face (5/0) No. 0 points.
   
2. Offense
   i. Hustle (5) He's not going to steal a lot, but I don't think he'll run into many outs. 9 points.
   ii. Batting Stance/Face (6) Three swings before every at-bat. 10 points.
   iii. Power & Average (6) I think hitting in front of Pujols, Rolen, and Edmonds, he'll just try to get on base. But he can hit a ton. 11 points.
   iv. Line Drive v. Fly Ball (3) He does alright for himself. 5 points.
   v. Chatty (3) Meh. 4 points.
   vi. Selflessness (7) Last year, he wanted to go to the playoffs so badly, you could feel it. 14 points.
   
3. Dugout/Clubhouse
   i. Press Conferences (4) Every once in a while you can hear the Canadian accent. Which is always funny. 8 points.
   ii. Quotes (4) He's not too cliche-y. 7 points.
   iii. Chatty (4) He's played with the team less than three months. It's hard to be really chummy quickly, but Larry seems like a fun guy. 6 points.
   iv. Fights (3) He used to be a hockey player. He'll kick your ass. 5 points.

OFF FIELD

1. Personal Hygiene (8) At his age, the shaved head is a good choice. The mullet can be forgiven (Canada). 12 points.
2. Commercials - local (4) No. 0 points.
3. Commercials – national (5) No. 0 points.
4. Commercials - MLB (5) No. 0 points.
5. Dress (5) The only thing I can recall is a Hawaiian shirt. That's not good. 4 points.
6. Rumors (3) No. 3 points.
7. Awards (3) Seven Gold Gloves and an MVP. 6 points.

140 points. Oh, I just hope he can play close to a full season this year.

I've tried to work out the Watchability for Grudzielanek and Eckstein, but it's not going well. I just haven't seen enough of them. For now I'll say that Mark has nice eyes and David works his tail off.

or
28 Days, or
672 Hours, or
40,320 Minutes, or
2,419,200 Seconds

until pitchers and catchers report.

Here's the thing. Grudzielankek was a Cub. If I paid attention to him, it was only to ridicule. Ok, not really, but since I don't remember a thing about him, I'm going to come back to second base later.

So, instead, today we've got Scott Rolen.

ON FIELD

1. Defense
   i. Hustle (5) Yes. 10 points.
   ii. Agility (7) As long as his leg is OK. 13 points.
   iii. Catcher? (5/0) No. 0 points.
   iv. Awareness (4) Yep. 8 points.
   v. Defensive Stance (6) Sigh. 12 points.
   vi. Pitching Face (5/0) No. 0 points.
2. Offense
   i. Hustle (5) He sprints around the bases after a homerun. 10 points.
   ii. Batting Stance/Face (6) Rolen looks like he's standing on tiptoe. Sometimes he scowls. 9 points.
   iii. Power & Average (6) Well, he is coming off a career year. 10 points.
   iv. Line Drive v. Fly Ball (3) He grounded into double plays (8) less than he was hit by a pitch (13) last year. 5 points.
   v. Chatty (3) No. And never will be. 3 points.
   vi. Selflessness (7) Can you imagine Scotty padding his stats? Because I cannot. 14 points.
3. Dugout/Clubhouse
   i. Press Conferences (4) Quite engaging. 8 points.
   ii. Quotes (4) "Are you even on this team?" 8 points.
   iii. Chatty (4) I get the feeling he's pretty goofy. 7 points.
   iv. Fights (3) The man is 6'4"/240 lbs. 4 points.

OFF FIELD

1. Personal Hygiene (8) Very nice. 15 points.
2. Commercials - local (4) No. 0 points.
   
3. Commercials – national (5) No. 0 points.
4. Commercials - MLB (5) No. 0 points.
5. Dress (5) You know, he wears a half-shirt, too. 8 points.
6. Rumors (3) Scotty's plain vanilla. 3 points.
7. Awards (3) Rookie of the Year (1997), Gold Gloves, Silver Sluggers, etc. 5 points.

Total: 152. What more can you say? The hot corner is definitely hot.

Couldn't resist.

Today I'm looking at Albert Pujols' Watchability.

ON FIELD

1. Defense
   i. Hustle (5) He's getting better at first base. 8 points.
   ii. Agility (7) Not super quick, but can dig throws out of the dirt. 11 points.
   iii. Catcher? (5/0) No. 0 points.
   iv. Awareness (4) Yeah, especially since he's staying at first. 7 points.
   v. Defensive Stance (6) Lovely. 10 points.
   vi. Pitching Face (5/0) No. 0 points.
2. Offense
   i. Hustle (5) Again, he's not very fast, but is a great base runner. 9 points.
   ii. Batting Stance/Face (6) He's laughing at you, pitcher. 12 points.
   iii. Power & Average (6) Check. 12 points.
   iv. Line Drive v. Fly Ball (3) Albert really is more of a line drive guy who's really really strong. 6 points.
   v. Chatty (3) He doesn't talk at the plate much, but does on base. 4 points.
   vi. Selflessness (7) I'd say. 14 points.
3. Dugout/Clubhouse
   i. Press Conferences (4) Sometimes his accent is a little hard to understand. But usually quite good. 7 points.
   ii. Quotes (4) "I just want to help my team win." He could stand to spice it up a little. 6 points.
   iii. Chatty (4) He tugs on La Russa's hat, but also goes to look at video after his at-bats. 4 points.
   iv. Fights (3) Albert looks damn scary coming at you out of the dugout. 5 points.

OFF FIELD

1. Personal Hygiene (8) He must spend a lot of time shaving. 13 points.
2. Commercials - local (4) There was that one with his wife. 7 points.
3. Commercials – national (5) The MVP Baseball commercial was cute. 8 points.
4. Commercials - MLB (5) Does This Week In Baseball count? No? 0 points.
5. Dress (5) There was an incident with a very ill-fitting suit jacket, but mostly good. 8 points.
6. Rumors (3) Maybe he's older than we're told? 3 points.
7. Awards (3) 2001 Rookie of the Year. Has been in the top five of MVP votes every year he's played. 5 points.

Well, that's 159 points. To say it's a pleasure to watch Pujols is an understatement.

But his heel is hurting again. It sounds like the treatment worked for a while. And really, if he has to miss a few games every two months (say April, June, August), that's fine. Better that then losing him for a couple months due to surgery.

Now that the 25-man roster is mostly set, and because there's nothing else going on, I figured I would take a look at Watchability for the infield this week, starting with Yadier Molina.

ON FIELD

1. Defense
   i. Hustle (5) He threw out 47% of runners last year. 7 points.
   ii. Agility (7) The kid's a tank-which is both good and bad. 10 points.
   iii. Catcher? (5/0) Yep. 5 points.
   iv. Awareness (4) Well, at one point he caught three shutouts in a row. 6 points.
   v. Defensive Stance (6) He's a catcher. 10.5 points.
   vi. Pitching Face (5/0) No. 0 points.
2. Offense
   i. Hustle (5) I'm sure he's running as fast as he can out there. 7 points.
   ii. Batting Stance/Face (6) Nothing unusual. 6 points.
   iii. Power & Average (6) At least he'll hit better than Matheny. 5 points.
   iv. Line Drive v. Fly Ball (3) He had 2 homeruns in Puerto Rico! 3 points.
   v. Chatty (3) Probably not; he was a rookie last year. 3 points.
   vi. Selflessness (7) He seems to fly to right a good deal. That could be useful. 10 points.
3. Dugout/Clubhouse
   i. Press Conferences (4) Nope. 0 points.
   ii. Quotes (4) Fairly original. 5 points.
   iii. Chatty (4) He had some sort of special bond with Kline, I think. 4 points.
   iv. Fights (3) He did have that nice chat with Manny Ramirez. 5 points.

OFF FIELD

1. Personal Hygiene (8) He's got a little bit of a belly. 9 points.
2. Commercials - local (4) No. 0 points.
3. Commercials - national (5) No. 0 points.
4. Commercials - MLB (5) No. 0 points.
5. Dress (5) I think it's ok. 5 points.
6. Rumors (3) Just that he's better than his brothers. 4 points.
7. Awards (3) Not yet.... 0 points.

Molina gets 104.5 points. That's a little below average (110), but he did only play in 51 games last year. He hit decently enough in Winter Ball (.275/.299/.363). The bad news? He'll never be Mike Piazza at the plate. The good news? He'll never be Mike Piazza behind the plate.

Before John McCain had a chance to dial up his righteous indignation, MLB and the MLBPA agreed to a tougher drug policy. Of course, just about anything is going to be tougher than what they had. The three big improvements, as I see it, are an actual suspension for a first positive test, year-round, random tests, and the inclusion of HGH, steroid precursors, and masking agents.

La Russa was quoted on NPR this morning, saying this is the "Cadillac" of professional sports' drug policies. Weeelll, sort of. Yes, a positive test results in a ten-day suspension, which is probably about eight games. The NFL's first positive test punishment is a four game suspension (minimum) and the NBA is five games. But the NFL has a 16-game regular season. At the very least, a player is out for 25% of the year. The NBA's season is half as long as MLB's, and the suspension works out to six percent of the regular season. A first positive test in Baseball results in a suspension for about five percent of games. Now, if this were the high jump, you'd be looking at a two year suspension. And if you're in the NHL, well, they just don't care.

As I've said before, the worst punishment is public humiliation. Who wants to be known as the first guy suspended for steroids? According to Jayson Stark, Selig could commute the suspension to a fine and not "out" the player. Although, I can't imagine that word of a fine wouldn't somehow leak, and then MLB would be in a world of hurt. The players will probably police themselves more with the threat of being labeled "A CHEATER" hanging over their heads than losing a few thousand dollars (see: Moss, Randy).

Under the previous agreement, each player was tested once a year (start of Spring Training though the end of the season). In 2003, the tests were anonymous-only if more than five percent of players tested positive would the rest of the agreement kick in. (I remember hearing that some White Sox wanted to refuse to take the test, thus driving up the percentage of positives, to ensure the policy was put into effect. I guess the union wasn't listening to them back then.) Of course, the five percent threshold was met and last year was the first year of identifiable testing. The problem was, the players more or less knew when they were going to be tested, and once they were, they could just start using again. The year-round tests are a vast improvement over once-per-season, "telegraphed" testing. Most players will still be tested just once a year, but hopefully, it really is unannounced.

Human Growth Hormone is finally on the banned substances list. But, see, it's a hormone. Everybody has it in their system already. And there's not a reliable test for it. Nice gesture, though. And there's nothing re: stimulants. I'm sure there's a difference between No-Doz and Greenies, but since I get the shakes after one cup of coffee, I'm not the most qualified person to talk about uppers. MLB is going to have it's work cut out; there's always going to be some chemist in a lab, cooking something up. Maybe they should contact Victor Conte-if you want to catch a cheater, hire one.

Finally, how far off base was union leadership? I have to wonder if some players aren't seriously questioning Don Fehr and Gene Orza's motivations for ignoring the majority of their constituency. Why bother having an advocate if he won't act in your best interest?

So, what's the over/under on how many pitchers lose velocity next year?

So, as everyone knows, Carlos Beltran is out of the Central. I do feel sorry for the Astros. They've lost Kent, Miller, Beltran, and most likely Clemens. And we thought Renteria screwed the Cardinals! I did really enjoy watching Beltran and Albert try to one-up each other last October.

(Translated from the Spanish)
"I had a first inning homerun."
"Yeah, me too."
"I slid head first into first base on an infield hit."
"But I beat you to the bag."
"Eight home runs."
"24 hits."
"Walk, stolen base, move up on a sacrifice, score on the error."
"Game 7: tying RBI, winning run."
"..."
"Well?"
"Mets."
"You're no fun."

I, along with most of the population, just don't understand how Beltran is getting $119 million. I guess stolen bases are more valuable than I thought. I know some of his stats are a function of playing for a bad Kansas City team, but for his career: .284/.353/.490. If there were any money in it, Scott Boras would make a great politician; he knows how to spin.

---

It looks like the Baby Bears are stuck with Sammy. Remember how Nomar pouted in Boston at the beginning of 2004? Sosa's going to put him to shame. He knows the team wants to get rid of him and the fans are tired of the 0-fers. But who knows? Maybe Zambrano drilled him a couple times this winter and set him straight. Sosa could actually stand in the batter's box during his at-bats (rather than the on-deck circle) and be good again.

I don't want to anger the Baseball Gods, but...even if (and it's a big if) the Cubs' rotation can stay healthy, I don't think they'll be very good. They have no closer, they lost Alou's bat. Yes, Garciaparra's going to be there the whole year, but their fifth starter is Glendon Rusch.

Nobody likes us. Not ESPN's Phil Rogers, not Will Carroll. But Rogers writes for the Chicago Tribune, the owners of the Cubs, and Carroll's an admitted Cub fan. Whatever. The Cubbies re-signed Nomar. They lost Clement and Alou and haven't replaced them.

The Northeast Liberal Media Elite Bias says some nice things (but ya gotta register to read it).

Like Mrs. Manning, do you wonder if Mrs. Molina ever feels like she's running a stud farm?

In November, Cub fans thought they would get Renteria and maybe Womack. Instead, the Cards signed Mark Grudzielanek (who needs a nickname in the worst way-I don't like "Grudz"). I checked out some Cub boards, and they're not laughing at us, which is a good sign.

Oh, and LaRussa has a new contract.

Mark Grudziesnasrlisdk signed a one-year $1 million deal with the Cards today. He could get up to $500,000 more in incentives. I gotta look at what he's done recently, but going into the 7 slot, it should be ok.

mlb.com is showing Cardinal games from 2004 on their interactive baseball network. So, if you've got broadband and are bored, check it out.

10. Start office pool for date and nature of Griffey's season-ending injury. I'm going July 8-left hamstring.
9. Bid on Beltran until he's too expensive for the Cubbies, thus ensuring he goes to the Yankees (this may have the added bonus of getting Clemens to finally retire).
8. Bring back the Cubs version of "The Cap Dance," that cracks me up.
7. Call Milwaukee and tell them, "We really like that Sheets guy, you know, just in case."
6. Ditto with Minnesota and Santana.
5. Fix outfield turf-can't have Jimmy and Larry slipping and sliding out there.
4. Draft some position players.
3. Decide just how to greet Renteria when he comes back.
2. Get a freakin' second baseman; if at all possible, one who is not yet eligible for an AARP card.
1. WIN THE GODDAMN WORLD SERIES!