bellyitcher

So, all those crazy rumors going around? Yeah, I'm just going to ignore them for a bit. I've been out of the loop so long I'm playing some serious catch-up. Winter Meetings start Monday and apparently MLB wants everyone to sit on all their deals until then (fair warning: it gets weird in that thread). We'll just move along and do Suppan's PWF.

ONFIELD

1. Defense
   i. Hustle (10) He's pretty quick off the mound. 8 points.
   ii. Agility (14) I'd like for him to get a tad more in shape, but he's by no means a BFTOG. 11 points.
   iii. Catcher (5/0) N/A. 0 points.
   iv. Awareness (8) Two errors in two years. 8 points.
   v. Defensive Stance (8) Eh. 5 points.
   vi. Pitching Face/Post-strike out (5/0) He looks like he's unhinging his jaw when he throws. 5 points.
2. Offense
   i. Hustle (10) This is for 2005, so that little incident doesn't count. Because I say so, that's why. 7 points.
   ii. Batting Stance/Face (12) Ok. For a pitcher. Who spent a lot of time in the AL. 7 points.
   iii. Power & Average (12) Remember last year when he was terrible? Not so this year. 10 points.
   iv. Pitcher's bunting ability (5) He ushered in the Era Of The Suicide Squeeze last October. 5 points.
   v. Selflessness (14) Yeah. 12 points.
   
3. Dugout/Clubhouse
   i. Press Conferences/Interviews (8) Good mix of actual stuff with the cliches. 6 points.
   ii. Quotes (8) Do multi-syllabic words count as quotes? 6 points.
   iii. Chatty (8) Seems to be. 7 points.
   iv. Fights (6) Suppan will take care of business. 5 points.

OFF FIELD

1. Personal Hygiene (16) Very nice. 15 points.
   
2. Commercials (local) (8) None. 0 points.
   
3. Commercials (national) (10) None. 0 points.
   
4. Commercials (MLB) (10) None. 0 points.
   
5. Dress (10) He's the best dresser on the whole team. 10 points.
   
6. Rumors (6) He's pretty blah. 2 points.
   
7. Awards (6) No. 0 points.

129 for Jeff. I really like Suppan. He'll occasionally have a horrid game and occasionally have a fantastic game, but more often than not, he'll just be...steady. Coming up next, the antithesis of steady, Morris and Marquis.

Oh, looks like no Giles for the Cards.

These are the days when we all come back,
And a few, a bird or two,
To take a backward look.

These are the days when agents put on
The old, old dance for the contract
And weigh a team's chances.

O, season of wild rumors
We have to listen to Boomer
It makes me long for Spring.

Till Winter trades bear March fruit,
And free agents have all their loot
Hurries the bold GM.

Oh, guider of our summer days,
Oh, don't get caught up in the craze,
One unheralded will join,

Thy sacred group and will partake,
Will do more, he will surely rake,
And seize that immortal ring!

-Apologies to Emily Dickinson

And Go Webster!

Mulder today.

ONFIELD

1. Defense
   i. Hustle (10) He's so tall he doesn't have to move far to get the ball. 8 points.
   ii. Agility (14) Good. 12 points.
   iii. Catcher (5/0) N/A. 0 points.
   iv. Awareness (8) As a ground ball pitcher, he has to be on the lookout. 7 points.
   v. Defensive Stance (8) I wonder how many other women watched him hitch up his pants after every pitch in the first half. 8 points.
   vi. Pitching Face/Post-strike out (5/0) He doesn't look scary and after a strike out he just kind of spins around. 5 points.
2. Offense
   i. Hustle (10) The word "ungainly" comes to mind - remember Phoebe running in "Friends?" Yeah. 6 points.
   ii. Batting Stance/Face (12) He looks incredibly lost. 5 points.
   iii. Power & Average (12) Uhhhh. 5 points.
   iv. Pitcher's bunting ability (5) Stinky. 1 point.
   v. Selflessness (14) He tried, he was just bad. 9 points.
   
3. Dugout/Clubhouse
   i. Press Conferences/Interviews (8) He's very forthcoming. It's nice. 8 points.
   ii. Quotes (8) It loses something on the page, but still honest and not many cliches. 8 points.
   iii. Chatty (8) I think it took him a long time to settle into St. Louis. 6 points.
   iv. Fights (6) No clue. 3 points.

OFF FIELD

1. Personal Hygiene (16) Dammit, Mark, stop highlighting your hair. Seriously. Stop. 14 points.
   
2. Commercials (local) (8) No. 0 points. (OK, Scott says in the comments that he does local Volvo commercials. 6 points.)
   
3. Commercials (national) (10) GNC and Got Milk? 10 points.
   
4. Commercials (MLB) (10) No. 0 points.
   
5. Dress (10) Whatever. 8 points.
   
6. Rumors (6) I've never heard anything specific, but he's a young, single, attractive pitcher. Duh. 5 points.
   
7. Awards (6) All Star. 3 points.

Mulder ends up one point behind Carpenter with 131 points, mainly because of his interviews and ad campaigns. Not really surprising, though. He's pretty hot.

(Now it's 137.)

On to the pitchers, starting with Carpenter.

ONFIELD

1. Defense
   i. Hustle (10) Well, I wouldn't put him centerfield or anything, but pretty good. 8 points.
   ii. Agility (14) Not too bad. 12 points.
   iii. Catcher (5/0) N/A. 0 points.
   iv. Awareness (8) Only one stolen base allowed in two years. 8 points.
   v. Defensive Stance (8) Yeah. Nice. 8 points.
   vi. Pitching Face/Post-strike out (5/0) Every once in a very great while, Carpenter will pump his fist but usually just blows a bubble. 5 points.
2. Offense
   i. Hustle (10) When you're only on base ten times in 93 plate appearances and you get caught stealing one of those times, it's hard to demonstrate your hustle. 7 points.
   ii. Batting Stance/Face (12) Good for a pitcher. 9 points.
   iii. Power & Average (12) He did walk five times and had two doubles. 8 points.
   iv. Pitcher's bunting ability (5) See below. 4 points.
   v. Selflessness (14) Ten sacrifice hits. 14 points.
   
3. Dugout/Clubhouse
   i. Press Conferences/Interviews (8) By his own admission, terribly dull. 4 points.
   ii. Quotes (8) See above. 4 points.
   iii. Chatty (8) As long as he's not pitching. 6 points.
   iv. Fights (6) Dusty Baker should probably avoid Carpenter. 5 points.

OFF FIELD

1. Personal Hygiene (16) I've never been a fan of the soul patch, but otherwise, quite fine. 15 points.
   
2. Commercials (local) (8) No. 0 points.
   
3. Commercials (national) (10) No. 0 points.
   
4. Commercials (MLB) (10) No. 0 points.
   
5. Dress (10) Very nice. 9 points.
   
6. Rumors (6) Nope. 0 points.
   
7. Awards (6) Yep. 6 points.

132 points for Carpenter.

Whether you call him J-Rod, Johnny Rocket, or "one of those Memphis guys," Rodriguez did play in 56 games this year, so he deserves a Player Watchability Factor.

ONFIELD

1. Defense
   i. Hustle (10) He really tried. 8 points.
   ii. Agility (14) Decent. 11 points.
   iii. Catcher (5/0) N/A. 0 points.
   iv. Awareness (8) Errrrr.... 5 points.
   v. Defensive Stance (8) Not too bad. 8 points.
   vi. Pitching Face/Post-strike out (5/0) N/A. 0 points.
2. Offense
   i. Hustle (10) Oh dear. Well, let's chalk up those baserunning blunders to rookie enthusiasm. 6 points.
   ii. Batting Stance/Face (12) There was something a little off-putting in his stance. I can't pinpoint it, though. 8 points.
   iii. Power & Average (12) He started handling breaking pitches better towards the end of the year. And he did have five home runs in 149 ABs. 9 points.
   iv. Pitcher's bunting ability (5) N/A. 0 points.
   v. Selflessness (14) Do you want to me a selfish rookie on a team with Albert Pujols? Me either. 14 points.
   
3. Dugout/Clubhouse
   i. Press Conferences/Interviews (8) Nuke LaLoosh after lessons with Crash Davis. 6 points.
   ii. Quotes (8) He did those little articles on the official site during the post season. 7 points.
   iii. Chatty (8) Sure. 7 points.
   iv. Fights (6) I think he would be right in there, but have no evidence of this. 3 points.

OFF FIELD

1. Personal Hygiene (16) Good. 14 points.
   
2. Commercials (local) (8) No. 0 points.
   
3. Commercials (national) (10) No. 0 points.
   
4. Commercials (MLB) (10) No. 0 points.
   
5. Dress (10) I have no idea. 5 points.
   
6. Rumors (6) Nope. 0 points.
   
7. Awards (6) Nope. 0 points.

So that's 111 points for He Who Needs A Nickname We Can All Agree On. Or we could just call him Rodriguez. I'd be happy to have him as a left handed batter off the bench next year; could do a lot worse.

Albert wins. Again, lotsa links to follow if true.

AJC believes.

18 1st place votes to Jones' 13.

WHOOOOOOO HOOOOOOO

12:15: The DR, the AP, the CP, the SN, the P-D, ESPN, and my favorite: Jones was robbed. Mostly wire reports right now, when actual stories are written, I'll add those.

1:20: Listen to the presser.

BBC, Stark, Reuters, more AP, Jeff Gordon.

Evening: It's the AP again, but I love the picture. More Gordon. Another AJC with some vote breakdown. Hilariously, the Sun-Times has nothing about the MVP on their Cubs page, not even the AP story. Maybe tomorrow. Holy crow, I forgot about this. Just to laugh out loud at how incredibly freaking good he is. Probably better than the MVP. An mp3 of the interview Pujols did with KFNS this afternoon. KSDK has the press conference (the "Whoo hoo" link has the conference call). And every guy and gal on the right has something, too.

But the really important part? Albert's PWF is up two points to 152 (his suit today was sooo much better than that horrible sack he wore before the World Series last year, plus ya know winning the MVP).

First of all, apparently the MVP results were leaked on XM radio today. According to them, Albert wins a close vote. If this is the case, I'm gonna look like a super-genius posting this the night before. If not (and I think Jones will win), I'll be too busy researching voodoo on the internet for use on the voters to care that I fell for it. Second, Retire #51!! Yeah, other people have prettier numbers and prettier faces. But, come on, it's Willie. Third, I will die if Jimmy is traded. It's really not funny. Fourth, I watched the Cheap Seats Busch Stadium thing. It was pretty dull, but...THERE WAS VIDEO OF MIKE LAGA'S FOUL BALL. Alex is gonna flip.

Now, where were we again? Oh, yes. The outfield. In keeping with the irrational adoration theme, let's start with So.

ONFIELD

1. Defense
   i. Hustle (10) I'd say yes. 9 points.
   ii. Agility (14) He doesn't scale walls like teammate Edmonds or fellow countryman Ichiro, but still good. 11 points.
   iii. Catcher (5/0) N/A. 0 points.
   iv. Awareness (8) He's a good fielder, 2 errors to 5 assists. 7 points.
   v. Defensive Stance (8) Nice. 6 points.
   vi. Pitching Face/Post-strike out (5/0) N/A. 0 points.
2. Offense
   i. Hustle (10) He's pretty speedy. 8 points.
   ii. Batting Stance/Face (12) Nothing spectacular. 7 points.
   iii. Power & Average (12) You know, pretty good. 9 points.
   iv. Pitcher's bunting ability (5) N/A. 0 points.
   v. Selflessness (14) He took a lot less money to stay with the Cardinals last year. 13 points.
   
3. Dugout/Clubhouse
   i. Press Conferences/Interviews (8) He does the post game interviews when required. They aren't very informative, but they are hilarious. 7 points.
   ii. Quotes (8) Few and far between, and a tad dull. 4 points.
   iii. Chatty (8) The bows he does with the other players are the best. It seems like everyone loves him. 8 points.
   iv. Fights (6) So Taguchi could be a ninja. You never know. 5 points.

OFF FIELD

1. Personal Hygiene (16) Oh, let's say 13 points.
   
2. Commercials (local) (8) No. 0 points.
   
3. Commercials (national) (10) No. 0 points.
   
4. Commercials (MLB) (10) No. 0 points.
   
5. Dress (10) I can't remember really. I think pretty good. 8 points.
   
6. Rumors (6) Uuuh. Hm. No. 2 points.
   
7. Awards (6) Cardinals' Rookie of the Year. 3 points.

120 points for The Gooch. He had a good year and I'm very glad he stayed.

A few days ago, birdbrain asked for my help in settling a debate: which was better, Jim Edmonds' Game Six home run last year or Albert Pujols' home run this year? Well, that's like Sophie's Choice, so we got together to debate the merits of each. Because Jimmy is my guy, I took that side, birdbrain took Albert's. Now, both were tremendous, so this is a purely academic exercise.

Ever wonder how girls talk about baseball? Now you know.

birdbrain: All right, well, at least Rooney does a great Harry Caray.
bellyscratcher: I heard he also does Vin Scully.
birdbrain: Should be interesting, anyway. I'm intrigued.
bellyscratcher: I'm really encouraged. Hagin was kind of bland. Rooney seems more...excitable. Plus, he should hate the Cubs.
birdbrain: I never warmed up to Hagin, either. There was only one moment when I thought I might form an attachment - during his first season Jim Edmonds hit a walk-off homer in the tenth inning of a day game and Hagin said "See you in traffic!"
bellyscratcher: Nice.
bellyscratcher: Well, we have more to talk about than the original topic. Rooney, Carp, the upcoming MVP...
birdbrain: I know, there's loads of interesting things going on.
birdbrain: Btw, I just decided that since I was drunk during Jimmy's homer, and Albert's homer, I just open a beer now. To recreate the mood you know.
bellyscratcher: It's a little too early in the day for me. Plus, RHM accused me of being a drunk :-(
birdbrain: Well, I don't usually during the day, either, but such are the benefits of unemployment.
bellyscratcher: Not necessarily untrue, but I was trashed during the roundtable so...
birdbrain: heehee
birdbrain: You were a riot.
bellyscratcher: I feel like I should redeem myself with some actual baseball insight.
birdbrain: What, now?
birdbrain: Ok, let's go!
birdbrain: The thing is, of course, that both were awesome, so though I'm pumping up Pujols, may I just say again that Jimmy's home run was AMAZING.
bellyscratcher: Of course. Pu's home run was one of the better moments of my life, but I'm on Jim's side today.
birdbrain: Same.
birdbrain: Ok, well, ultimately what it comes down to for me is that Pujols HAD to hit that homer. If Jimmy grounds into a DP last year, we go to the next inning. If Pujols doesn't come through, the season is over.
bellyscratcher: But Jimmy's was at home, after Izzy blew it.
bellyscratcher: Also, so many things had to go right just to get Pujols to the plate. Eckstein gets the hit, Jimmy walks.
birdbrain: Yes, but it was against Miceli, whereas Pujols hit one against Lidge - I'd say last year's Lidge drama added to the shock and amazement of the Pujols homer.
birdbrain: True, very true.
bellyscratcher: Jim's ended the game. Albert's just send the game to the bottom of the ninth. And no one can ever say they are comfortable when Izzy pitches against the Astros, and that was his second inning.
birdbrain: Pujols' moment was more of a team moment (because Izzy still had to get three outs), which made it really something to behold.
birdbrain: Geez, it was fun.
birdbrain: Yeah. I agree. There's something special about a walk-off home run.
birdbrain: BUT
bellyscratcher: Which is why, on pure "which hr is better" Jim's gets the nod.
birdbrain: No, I don't think so... Because we were down by two runs when Albert came up to bat, though! Against Lidge! Even if there DID need to be two men on, it was still so unlikely.
bellyscratcher: Albert's was amazing, a bomb, and the Lidge thing adds some. But the Cards had been getting to Lidge all series, it was just a matter of whether there would be enough games in the series for him to blow a save.
birdbrain: But Miceli, too, had already given up homers to Cardinals earlier in the series (Rolen and uh... I forget who else, I think in game 2). So once he came in, we were in good shape.
bellyscratcher: Everyone says Albert broke him, but you could look back to the RBI Mabry (!) had off him in Game 3 (I think) as a big chink in the armor.
bellyscratcher: Sure Miceli sucked, but I've seen Edmonds swing and miss against that high fastball plenty of times. It was no sure thing.
birdbrain: True about Lidge, but the slider before the homer pitch was nasty. Hey, weren't both homers on 0-1 pitches, come to think of it?
bellyscratcher: I don't remember for Edmonds, but that would be pretty cool. I'll have to re-watch that game.
birdbrain: See, I think you're giving Lidge's meltdown too much credit here. We were down by two runs, with a single out left. A single might have been expected - by that huge shot?
bellyscratcher: Lidge hung a slider, Miceli threw one right in Jim's wheelhouse. When pitchers make mistakes like that, good hitters take advantage.
bellyscratcher: What makes Jimmy's hr better isn't the pitcher, or the number of outs, but that it ended an extra innings elimination game at home.
birdbrain: But what makes Albert's homer better is that the Houston people had their banner all set to be unfurled and they shut up really fast.
bellyscratcher: Albert's home run staved off elimination for one game, but it was pretty clear the Cards weren't going to win the series. After Jimmy's hr, it was anybody's guess.
bellyscratcher: True, I very much enjoyed the silence in Houston.
birdbrain: Really? You didn't think the Cardinals would win? But even if I give you that point, there's the added emotion of giving us one more game at Busch.
bellyscratcher: I really hoped, but they had played like dog poo for four games. Albert's home run just covered that up for a night. It was great that they got to come back to Busch. And great that Albert did it, but with Oswalt going? Ick.
birdbrain: Ick is right. Why didn't we get World Series Oswalt? No fair.
bellyscratcher: Cause we had what BatGirl calls "ass bats."
birdbrain: But we had those last year too - during all three Houston games.
birdbrain: Effing Minute maid.
bellyscratcher: No doubt.
bellyscratcher: Trains, hills, roof. Not a real stadium.
birdbrain: Completely pathetic. I hear our new one is going to be bland, but at least there's no ridiculous gimmicks.
bellyscratcher: Busch II was so old it was no longer one of a thousand. Busch III will be like all the other new parks. And I'm pissed the scoreboard won't be hand-operated.
birdbrain: I'm testy about the whole thing, too.
birdbrain: One nice thing about both homers - last year we got Redbird Nation's EDMONDS!!!!! in about eighty-point font; this year we got "YEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" from Viva El Birdos. What a blast
bellyscratcher: I'm not all weepy over Busch; I'm very excited about the new park. Busch was rusty and crumbling.
bellyscratcher: Yeah I remember the EDMONDS!!!! vividly.
birdbrain: I guess so. It looked nicer than both Shea and Yankee Stadium, though.
bellyscratcher: Until you went under the stands. Poor La Russa, his office was full of groaning pipes. No wonder he looks so dour all the time.
Birdbrain: Yeah, but it will certainly be weird for awhile.
bellyscratcher: Holy god. 4 years, $52 million offer for Konerko from the ChiSox.
birdbrain: Whoa.
bellyscratcher: Yeah. Let the craziness begin.
birdbrain: Where did you find that?
bellyscratcher: I'm watching ESPNews.
birdbrain: So here's what I think. Albert's home run was completely unlikely with two outs against Lidge, and yet it's what HAD to happen for the Cardinals to get another game at Busch. Jimmy's homer, was obviously amazing (flair for the dramatic, indeed!), but it wasn't quite the same in terms of do-or-die moments in baseball
bellyscratcher: Except Albert's was likely. First, he's Albert Pujols. This is What Albert Does. Second, Lidge wasn't LIDGE. When there were two on for him, you knew what Albert was going to do. Or at least try to do. Jimmy's was equally likely, but the fact that it ended the game makes it a "better" home run. Also, I think it was the first time there had been back-to-back walks-offs in the NLCS.
birdbrain: Well, Albert does come through a lot. But that didn't mean he was going to hit a three-run homer - he could have just as easily singled Eck home, and then Reggie would have struck out (I'm guessing) to end the game.
bellyscratcher: Sure, and Jimmy could have grounded out, something else happens, Tavarez remembers his hand is broken and blows another game.
birdbrain: Well, yeah. See, what makes Albert's better is that Jimmy not hitting it wouldn't have ended the game.

Go over to redbirdbrain for Part II wherein we discuss free agents and trades and more!

Hot Stove action doesn't often include radio play by play guys, but Bernie is reporting John Rooney (late of the White Sox) is coming to the St. Louis booth, apparently to replace Wayne Hagin. Press conference at 2:00 St. Louis time.

Links galore:

lboros covers blogdom. They're very bitter in Florida today. C'mon people. Willis had a great season. If he had won, we'd all be congratulating him and you. So STFU.

From the P-D: Goold #1, Goold #2, Gordon (who takes a swipe at the banner-fliers).

Mathew Leach (with a link to the conference call).

KSDK (with video).

Belleville News-Democrat.

Canada chimes in. Newsday, NY Times, ABC (AP), Reuters, Bloomberg, USA Today, Wisconsin (via San Jose), Ryne Sandberg, Miami Herald, and finally, Sun-Sentinel.

Are coming in that Chris Carpenter is your 2005 National League Cy Young Award winner. Lotsa links to follow if true....

It is true. Congratulations Carp!!!

To Moonlight Graham, Bob Gibson, Whitey Herzog, and me. Shameless? Yeah, a bit.

It's also Adam Dunn's birthday. That could be an omen.

Larry Walker. The only guy who showed up in the World Series.

ONFIELD

1. Defense
   i. Hustle (10) Aside from the neck, the hand, and every other body part in constant pain, good. 6 points.
   ii. Agility (14) See above. 7 points.
   iii. Catcher (5/0) N/A. 0 points.
   iv. Awareness (8) Larry knows. 8 points.
   v. Defensive Stance (8) Can he bend over? 6 points.
   vi. Pitching Face/Post-strike out (5/0) N/A. 0 points.
2. Offense
   i. Hustle (10) So very smart. 10 points.
   ii. Batting Stance/Face (12) Poor guy could barely turn his head. He does the blinky thing too. Don't they have eye drops in the dugout? 9 points.
   iii. Power & Average (12) Considering every owie he had, not too bad. 9 points.
   iv. Pitcher's bunting ability (5) N/A. 0 points.
   v. Selflessness (14) Four injections into his neck. Ouch. 14 points.
   
3. Dugout/Clubhouse
   i. Press Conferences/Interviews (8) Honest and entertaining. 8 points.
   ii. Quotes (8) Often hilarious. 8 points.
   iii. Chatty (8) "Hit the train for $1 million." "He's built like a fungo bat." I wish he'd replace Al on the FSMW broadcasts. 8 points.
   iv. Fights (6) He's Canadian. They play hockey. But, he was so breakable this year. 4 points.

OFF FIELD

1. Personal Hygiene (16) Shaving his head was really the smart way to go, though "he's not exactly the buffest of guys" himself. 12 points.
   
2. Commercials (local) (8) N/A. 0 points.
   
3. Commercials (national) (10) N/A. 0 points.
   
4. Commercials (MLB) (10) N/A. 0 points.
   
5. Dress (10) He's on the Hawiian shirt/classic rock t-shirt end of the spectrum. 7 points.
   
6. Rumors (6) Dead people on his property. 2 points.
   
7. Awards (6) All-Star, Gold Gloves, MVP, etc. 6 points.

124 points. Even though Larry's body broke down this year, he had a very nice year and a half as a Cardinal. I hope he gets bored in a couple of years and becomes a color guy.

I cannot be objective about Jimmy Edmonds. I try, but I think I'm fighting a losing battle.

ONFIELD

1. Defense
   i. Hustle (10) He's still playing very shallow; he may have to rethink that next year. 8 points.
   ii. Agility (14) Er, uh huh. 13 points.
   iii. Catcher (5/0) N/A. 0 points.
   iv. Awareness (8) Jimmy usually pays attention. 7.5 points.
   v. Defensive Stance (8) He plays with his hat and takes off his glove and looks around. But then the pitch is thrown. 7 points.
   vi. Pitching Face/Post-strike out (5/0) N/A. 0 points.
2. Offense
   i. Hustle (10) He stole home this year. That's pretty cool. 8 points.
   ii. Batting Stance/Face (12) Blink, blink. Grimace. Bail out of the box. Mutter under breath. Little smile. Every time. With one of two outcomes: swing through a high fastball or crush a high fastball. 10 points.
   iii. Power & Average (12) Yes, he had an off year. I really hope that's all it was. 9 points.
   iv. Pitcher's bunting ability (5) N/A. 0 points.
   v. Selflessness (14) He's pretty good about that. He'd probably pay the Cardinals to play for them. 12 points.
   
3. Dugout/Clubhouse
   i. Press Conferences/Interviews (8) Pretty good. Light on the cliches. 7 points.
   ii. Quotes (8) I still love his quote about Zambrano. 7 points.
   iii. Chatty (8) Meh. 4 points.
   iv. Fights (6) He seems to discuss things with umpires more than opposing players, but he'll be in there. 4 points.

OFF FIELD

1. Personal Hygiene (16) He still doesn't have highlights! However, he's not exactly without excess insulation. 13 points.
   
2. Commercials (local) (8) For the rally bands. 7 points.
   
3. Commercials (national) (10) No. 0 points.
   
4. Commercials (MLB) (10) They're still playing his "I Live For This." 10 points.
   
5. Dress (10) Ok. 6 points.
   
6. Rumors (6) So many rumors. 5 points.
   
7. Awards (6) Lots and lots of Gold Gloves. 5 points.

142.5 points for Edmonds. If he had ever had one of his hot streaks...sigh.

KSDK.com will stream live coverage of the beginning of Busch demo starting at 2:57 CST.

Update: That was lame. I wish they could have imploded it.

Reggie's appendicitis during Spring Training didn't daunt his quest for a 30/30 season. Unfortunately, Jimmy Edmonds did.

ONFIELD

1. Defense
   i. Hustle (10) He tries. 8 points.
   ii. Agility (14) I keep remembering his spill in the NLCS; it was this year's "Suppan." But he's in remarkable shape. 11 points.
   iii. Catcher (5/0) N/A. 0 points.
   iv. Awareness (8) He takes some...interesting routes to the ball. 6 points.
   v. Defensive Stance (8) Pretty good. 6 points.
   vi. Pitching Face/Post-strike out (5/0) N/A. 0 points.
2. Offense
   i. Hustle (10) I hate that freaking home run hop, but I can't recall it costing him the way it did with Sammy. Reggie's still got some wheels. 9 points.
   ii. Batting Stance/Face (12) Not bad. 9 points.
   iii. Power & Average (12) If his leg hadn't been broken, he probably would have gotten his 30 home runs. Average isn't so super fantastic, though. 9 points.
   iv. Pitcher's bunting ability (5) N/A. 0 points.
   v. Selflessness (14) Everyone says he's a team guy. 13 points.
   
3. Dugout/Clubhouse
   i. Press Conferences/Interviews (8) Reggie always knows where the cameras are. 7 points.
   ii. Quotes (8) Pretty standard. 6 points.
   iii. Chatty (8) Yes. Yes, he is. 8 points.
   iv. Fights (6) It's part of being a team player. He did side with the phone last October, though. 5 points.

OFF FIELD

1. Personal Hygiene (16) Fit, good dresser, great smile. 16 points.
   
2. Commercials (local) (8) No. 0 points.
   
3. Commercials (national) (10) No. 0 points.
   
4. Commercials (MLB) (10) No. 0 points.
   
5. Dress (10) Punk rock t-shirts? Very nice. 10 points.
   
6. Rumors (6) Not really. 0 points.
   
7. Awards (6) He was an All-Star. Ten years ago. 2 points.

Reggie get 125 points. I'm kind of on the fence with re-signing Reggie. He's old and next year is an even year. However, signing and/or trading for two outfielders will be difficult and I'm not sold on a Taguchi/Rodriguez platoon.

Well. We've come to the end of the infield. Lil' Davey Eckstein. I said during the roundtable that, "I didn't want to buy into the whole 'you'll love Eck, he's just made for the Cardinals' but I did." (lboros said it better over at Baseball Analysts.) Maybe it was having it rammed down our throats going into the season or being burned by the "short-scrappy-white-guy" thing before. But I don't think there are many doubters now.

ONFIELD

1. Defense
   i. Hustle (10) If he thinks he can get there, he'll try. 9 points.
   ii. Agility (14) Not so bad. 12 points.
   iii. Catcher (5/0) N/A. 0 points.
   iv. Awareness (8) He has to be aware. It's how he does his job. 7 points.
   v. Defensive Stance (8) Except for the fact that he nearly disappears when he bends over, good. 6 points.
   vi. Pitching Face/Post-strike out (5/0) N/A. 0 points.
2. Offense
   i. Hustle (10) It's what he does. 10 points.
   ii. Batting Stance/Face (12) He's all twitchy up there. 8 points.
   iii. Power & Average (12) He set or tied career highs in hits, doubles, triples, home runs, walks, average, OBP, and SLG and tied his previous low for strike outs. 9 points.
   iv. Pitcher's bunting ability (5) N/A. 0 points.
   v. Selflessness (14) Not really on the offensive side, but he went through the pitchers' strengthening regimen to build up his arm. His favorite play is the suicide squeeze. 13 points.
   
3. Dugout/Clubhouse
   i. Press Conferences/Interviews (8) Hearing him makes a lot of his quotes less bland because he's good at interviews. 7 points.
   ii. Quotes (8) Yeah. Bland. 4 points.
   iii. Chatty (8) He's not gregarious. 5 points.
   iv. Fights (6) Eckstein is hardcore, but tiny. 4 points.

OFF FIELD

1. Personal Hygiene (16) His hair is very nearly the same color as his skin. 13 points.
   
2. Commercials (local) (8) For a good cause to boot. 8 points.
   
3. Commercials (national) (10) No. 0 points.
   
4. Commercials (MLB) (10) No. 0 points.
   
5. Dress (10) Untucked polos and jeans. Meh. 7 points.
   
6. Rumors (6) Grudz could never drag him out on the town. But that may have been good thinking on David's part. 0 points.
   
7. Awards (6) First time All-Star this year. 2 points.

124 points. I feel like I should add a "Toughness" category for Eckstein. Yes, he's short. But the kid (he's older than me, yet I persist in thinking of him as "kid") is nails.

I'm really not sure what to do about third base. I don't want to ignore Rolen, but he only played in 56 games. And Mabry did a fine job there. But, I think I'm going to focus on Nunez as he played 98 games at third.

ONFIELD

1. Defense
   i. Hustle (10) For a part-time player thrown into a full-time spot to fill some pretty big shoes...not half bad. 9 points.
   ii. Agility (14) He made some truly spectacular plays. 12 points.
   iii. Catcher (5/0) N/A. 0 points.
   iv. Awareness (8) The poor dear had only played 23.1 innings at third before 2005. It's a big adjustment. 5.5 points.
   v. Defensive Stance (8) Pretty good. 6.5 points.
   vi. Pitching Face/Post-strike out (5/0) N/A. 0 points.
2. Offense
   i. Hustle (10) I was a little surprised to see he had only tried to steal once all season. 8 points.
   ii. Batting Stance/Face (12) Nothing particularly intimidating or weird. 7 points.
   iii. Power & Average (12) He had a great June and July, but then tailed off badly. I don't know if it's a function of wearing down or pitchers getting a better book on him or what. 8 points.
   iv. Pitcher's bunting ability (5) N/A. 0 points.
   v. Selflessness (14) Nunez doesn't strike me as the type of guy with a big ego. All ball players do to some extent, but I didn't get the impression he was particularly concerned with making 2005 his payday. 13 points.
   
3. Dugout/Clubhouse
   i. Press Conferences/Interviews (8) Cliches. 6 points.
   ii. Quotes (8) A little blah. 6 points.
   iii. Chatty (8) Seems like he would be. 6 points.
   iv. Fights (6) Similar to Grudz, Nunez played for Lloyd McClendon, so he also had to put up with a lot of crap. 5 points.

OFF FIELD

1. Personal Hygiene (16) Lovely. 14 points.
2. Commercials (local) (8) No. 0 points.
3. Commercials (national) (10) No. 0 points.
4. Commercials (MLB) (10) No. 0 points.
5. Dress (10) I have no idea. 5 points.
6. Rumors (6) Not that I've heard. 0 points.
7. Awards (6) He did get the first bottle of champagne after clinching the division, but no, not really. 0 points.

Honest Abe ends up with 111 points. If he can cash in and be a starter for someone next year, that's wonderful for him. If he wants to stay in St. Louis and be a super-sub, that's wonderful for us.

To bring you a little bit of actual news.

First, I know Gold Gloves are not exactly awarded on merit. Reputation and offense often seem to be more important than fielding. But come on. No Grudzielanek? Did I buy into the hype or is this just stupid? Seems pretty dumb to me. Derrick Goold comes away from his number crunching shocked, but not in the same way. I wasn't surprised Yadi didn't win; it's his first full year after all. His caught stealing percentage is off the charts (literally-make a graph and see), but he also had the second most errors and the most passed balls. Of course, Jimmy is Jimmy. Diving and smashing into walls.

From the Duh Files: the Cardinals exercised Jeff Suppan's option today. I know no one expected anything different. He's the perfect back half of the rotation guy who can step it up when needed. He's steady, you know what you'll get, and he's capable of occasional flashes of brilliance.

ESPN gets a very early start on the 2006 season.

Now back to your regularly scheduled objectification of baseball players.

Never thought those two thoughts would be together. Eyechart's Watchability today.

ONFIELD

1. Defense
   i. Hustle (10) I don't remember ever thinking there was something he should have reached. He only made seven errors. 9 points.
   ii. Agility (14) Love that arm. He also took a lot of graceful spills this year. 13 points.
   iii. Catcher (5/0) N/A. 0 points.
   iv. Awareness (8) You don't help turn a franchise record in double plays without having some clue. 7 points.
   v. Defensive Stance (8) Quite fine. 8 points.
   vi. Pitching Face/Post-strike out (5/0) N/A. 0 points.
2. Offense
   i. Hustle (10) Better than league average. 8 points.
   ii. Batting Stance/Face (12) He'd get more points here if I wasn't afraid he was going to fall over after every swing and miss. 9 points.
   iii. Power & Average (12) He hit for the cycle. Why is it I don't remember him doing anything? I mean, he hit nearly .300. But not much power. 9.5 points.
   iv. Pitcher's bunting ability (5) N/A. 0 points.
   v. Selflessness (14) He was very up front about reestablishing himself after losing half a season in 2004. We'll find out if he really bought into the team if we hear anything about the Cards trying to re-sign him. 11 points.
   
3. Dugout/Clubhouse
   i. Press Conferences/Interviews (8) Few cliches, which is always nice. 7 points.
   ii. Quotes (8) Um, bland. 4 points.
   iii. Chatty (8) He and Eckstein seemed to have fun ribbing each other. 6 points.
   iv. Fights (6) He played for the Cubs, so you know he had to deal with a lot of crap. 5 points.

OFF FIELD

1. Personal Hygiene (16) Clean shaven or not, it's a good choice. 15 points.
   
2. Commercials (local) (8) No. 0 points.
   
3. Commercials (national) (10) No. 0 points.
   
4. Commercials (MLB) (10) No. 0 points.
   
5. Dress (10) Kinda schumlpy. 7 points.
   
6. Rumors (6) Again, hat tip to the ladies at On The DL. Tsk, tsk, tsk. But if there are pictures, is it still a rumor? And is a major leaguer kissing random girls a rumor? Or the norm? Eh. 3 points.
   
7. Awards (6) He was an All-Star. Nine years ago. 2 points.

Grudz gets 124 points. I'd be happy if the Cards could sign him to an incentivized deal. The hitting was good enough and the defense outstanding. Plus, his eyes.