bellyitcher

Mulder today.

ONFIELD

1. Defense
   i. Hustle (10) He's so tall he doesn't have to move far to get the ball. 8 points.
   ii. Agility (14) Good. 12 points.
   iii. Catcher (5/0) N/A. 0 points.
   iv. Awareness (8) As a ground ball pitcher, he has to be on the lookout. 7 points.
   v. Defensive Stance (8) I wonder how many other women watched him hitch up his pants after every pitch in the first half. 8 points.
   vi. Pitching Face/Post-strike out (5/0) He doesn't look scary and after a strike out he just kind of spins around. 5 points.
2. Offense
   i. Hustle (10) The word "ungainly" comes to mind - remember Phoebe running in "Friends?" Yeah. 6 points.
   ii. Batting Stance/Face (12) He looks incredibly lost. 5 points.
   iii. Power & Average (12) Uhhhh. 5 points.
   iv. Pitcher's bunting ability (5) Stinky. 1 point.
   v. Selflessness (14) He tried, he was just bad. 9 points.
   
3. Dugout/Clubhouse
   i. Press Conferences/Interviews (8) He's very forthcoming. It's nice. 8 points.
   ii. Quotes (8) It loses something on the page, but still honest and not many cliches. 8 points.
   iii. Chatty (8) I think it took him a long time to settle into St. Louis. 6 points.
   iv. Fights (6) No clue. 3 points.

OFF FIELD

1. Personal Hygiene (16) Dammit, Mark, stop highlighting your hair. Seriously. Stop. 14 points.
   
2. Commercials (local) (8) No. 0 points. (OK, Scott says in the comments that he does local Volvo commercials. 6 points.)
   
3. Commercials (national) (10) GNC and Got Milk? 10 points.
   
4. Commercials (MLB) (10) No. 0 points.
   
5. Dress (10) Whatever. 8 points.
   
6. Rumors (6) I've never heard anything specific, but he's a young, single, attractive pitcher. Duh. 5 points.
   
7. Awards (6) All Star. 3 points.

Mulder ends up one point behind Carpenter with 131 points, mainly because of his interviews and ad campaigns. Not really surprising, though. He's pretty hot.

(Now it's 137.)