bellyitcher

Larry Walker. The only guy who showed up in the World Series.

ONFIELD

1. Defense
   i. Hustle (10) Aside from the neck, the hand, and every other body part in constant pain, good. 6 points.
   ii. Agility (14) See above. 7 points.
   iii. Catcher (5/0) N/A. 0 points.
   iv. Awareness (8) Larry knows. 8 points.
   v. Defensive Stance (8) Can he bend over? 6 points.
   vi. Pitching Face/Post-strike out (5/0) N/A. 0 points.
2. Offense
   i. Hustle (10) So very smart. 10 points.
   ii. Batting Stance/Face (12) Poor guy could barely turn his head. He does the blinky thing too. Don't they have eye drops in the dugout? 9 points.
   iii. Power & Average (12) Considering every owie he had, not too bad. 9 points.
   iv. Pitcher's bunting ability (5) N/A. 0 points.
   v. Selflessness (14) Four injections into his neck. Ouch. 14 points.
   
3. Dugout/Clubhouse
   i. Press Conferences/Interviews (8) Honest and entertaining. 8 points.
   ii. Quotes (8) Often hilarious. 8 points.
   iii. Chatty (8) "Hit the train for $1 million." "He's built like a fungo bat." I wish he'd replace Al on the FSMW broadcasts. 8 points.
   iv. Fights (6) He's Canadian. They play hockey. But, he was so breakable this year. 4 points.

OFF FIELD

1. Personal Hygiene (16) Shaving his head was really the smart way to go, though "he's not exactly the buffest of guys" himself. 12 points.
   
2. Commercials (local) (8) N/A. 0 points.
   
3. Commercials (national) (10) N/A. 0 points.
   
4. Commercials (MLB) (10) N/A. 0 points.
   
5. Dress (10) He's on the Hawiian shirt/classic rock t-shirt end of the spectrum. 7 points.
   
6. Rumors (6) Dead people on his property. 2 points.
   
7. Awards (6) All-Star, Gold Gloves, MVP, etc. 6 points.

124 points. Even though Larry's body broke down this year, he had a very nice year and a half as a Cardinal. I hope he gets bored in a couple of years and becomes a color guy.