Wednesday, June 07, 2006
To: The St. Louis Cardinals
TO: The St. Louis Cardinals
FROM: bellyscratcher
RE: The Sucking
Dear St. Louis Cardinals:
Really? Eric Milton?
Guys, come on. I know that half the team has had some sort of weird injury (you win the prize, Bigbie), that Izzy couldn't find the plate if he was standing on it, that Bernie is on some sort of crusade to stir things up for reasons known only to himself (I personally think DeWitt made fun of his glasses), that some asshats are insinuating Pujols may not be entirely organic.
Remember 2004? That was fun. It doesn't look like you're having fun this year. Remember 2005? When you lost Rolen and the corpse of Larry Walker was patrolling right field? People stepped up. Who's gonna step up this year? Reyes has done well on the pitching side; Encarnacion, would you like to volunteer?
La Russa, I know you'll never do this, but can you at least kinda think about maybe moving Izzy to middle relief for a week or so while he works on his control? Looper can close (provided there are no lefties), so could Adam, I bet. Just something to chew on.
Anyway. I hope you boys can pull your heads out of your asses and hit the ball (please hit the ball so much that Izzy is not needed) and catch the ball. Or else I am going to change this to a World Cup blog - and nobody wants to read me talking about soccer. Trust me on this.
Love,
bellyscratcher
FROM: bellyscratcher
RE: The Sucking
Dear St. Louis Cardinals:
Really? Eric Milton?
Guys, come on. I know that half the team has had some sort of weird injury (you win the prize, Bigbie), that Izzy couldn't find the plate if he was standing on it, that Bernie is on some sort of crusade to stir things up for reasons known only to himself (I personally think DeWitt made fun of his glasses), that some asshats are insinuating Pujols may not be entirely organic.
Remember 2004? That was fun. It doesn't look like you're having fun this year. Remember 2005? When you lost Rolen and the corpse of Larry Walker was patrolling right field? People stepped up. Who's gonna step up this year? Reyes has done well on the pitching side; Encarnacion, would you like to volunteer?
La Russa, I know you'll never do this, but can you at least kinda think about maybe moving Izzy to middle relief for a week or so while he works on his control? Looper can close (provided there are no lefties), so could Adam, I bet. Just something to chew on.
Anyway. I hope you boys can pull your heads out of your asses and hit the ball (please hit the ball so much that Izzy is not needed) and catch the ball. Or else I am going to change this to a World Cup blog - and nobody wants to read me talking about soccer. Trust me on this.
Love,
bellyscratcher
