Wednesday, October 26, 2005
White Sox 2 at Astros 0, Zip, Nada, Nothin
See below for the Cardinals' 2006 schedule...
1st Inning: I live in the Pacific Northwest, where one would think people could drive in the rain. This is not the case and I missed the top of the first. I did not care enough to TiVo. Uh oh, Garland has only pitched once in three weeks. Yikes. Ugh, Biggio leads off with a double. And I remember that the buzzing makes me want to kill. Hee, Taveras can't bunt. Blech, Berkman singles in Craig. Let me take this opportunity to say that the Astros are a bunch of freaking babies. You play an outdoor sport, pansies. Quit whining about the roof. Double play! Time to take the field, Astros.
2nd Inning: So many commercials. Sweet, Konerko gets a double on the first pitch. Damn, the Astros are really complaining about the roof; they're even bigger babies than I thought. Why is Bud wearing headphones? Now a walk. Good start. Can the Cardinals disown McCarver please? Damn, line out right to the shortstop and Konerko is doubled off second. Nice play. Another walk. Oswalt's not exactly pounding the strike zone. Oswalt is officially a hick. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Pop up to first in foul territory. Oswalt escapes, but he threw a lot of pitches. Lamb flies to center. The Astros have shaved. Lane went to USC, eh? I like our USC grad better. Joe takes a shot and the umpires and Tim giggles a little. BARTMAN!!! Only fat. Eh, walk. Good at bat, though. Cute little double play ends the inning.
3rd Inning: Are all the women at the game wearing a ton of make up? Geez, ladies, it's a baseball game, not a rodeo. You aren't there to be seen. Must be a Texas thing, like giant, teased hair. These Charles Schwab commercials are freaky and need to go away. Garland looks ridiculous trying to bat. Backe is such a punk. Someone is going to kill him. Strike out, ground out, tapper back to the mound. Way to let Oswalt settle down, Sox. Missouri has hosted the most World Series games behind New York. That is one useless piece of information. Grrrr, safe at first. DAMMIT, pitch out, but Everett gets hit on his way back to first. I hope that hurt. Oswalt bunts him to second. Biggio drives him in. Arughhhhhh. First unearned run for the Sox all post season? Do we really need to know about Biggio's pants? I think not. Strike out, cool. Berkman singles and Craig's at third. Hit out of the park...foul. Another single makes it 3-0. Strike out. Gah. Very messy inning.
4th Inning: Taveras almost goes all Reggie Sanders, but makes the catch. NOOOOOOO. NOT SCOOTER! The White Sox have apparently stopped trying to make Oswalt work. Mark Mulder's on the TV. But he's playing golf right now. A. J. Pierssdfnoiehny keeps stepping out to break Roy's rhythm, something I wish the Cards had done a few times. And he walks. Nice play by Ensberg. Wow, I remember Boatman's Bank. Shit, Lane hits a home run. He does sprint, which is something I guess. God, Tim is retarded. Comebacker for the first out. Oswalt's swinging out of his shoes. Joe is not convinced that was a home run.
5th Inning: It looks like the Sox may have gotten hosed on a call. I really can't tell on the replay. But it was Angel Hernandez who made the call. Shannon won't even say his name. Wheee, Crede hits a home run! Nope, Lane's hit was not a home run. The shoe is on the other foot tonight. Should I try to make some joke about Shoeless Joe? Garland is trying to bunt. That's cute. Whoa, Garland pulls back and laces it foul, but then strikes out. Podsednik singles and it's 1st and 2nd. C'mon Other Gooch! Yay Other Gooch, into center field. Terrible throw by Taveras. 4-2 now. Houston's pitching coach wasn't too happy Oswalt was getting away from his fastball and he may just be right. Dye has a very good at bat and bloops a single into center to score another run. Konerko doesn't learn anything watching Dye's at bat and flies to center. C'mon Other Eyechart! And he unloads into center and the Sox have the lead!!! Some female Astros fan has this look on her face of complete disgust, like "How dare they?" Well, honey, they're better than your team. Get used to it. CFB, I'm thinking. Another walk. Tenth batter of the inning. Oswalt hits Crede, who is pissed. Much yelling between the benches. Garner needs to shut up. Springer isn't really getting ready to pitch-he's unwrapping gum. Dang, fly to right ends the inning. C'mon Garland! Biggio grounds out. Taveras pops out. Whoooo, 46 pitches in that inning for Roy. Rowand makes a fine running catch to retire Berkman. 1-2-3.
6th Inning: Garland grounds out quickly. Can anyone understand Ozzie? Bleh, 2 very quick outs. Ensberg can't handle the ball and The Other Gooch reaches. Dye hits an easy fly to center. You know, I remember almost nothing about last year's World Series. I don't know if I've blocked it out or if I spent those four night completely drunk or what, but it's a lot of fun to watch having so little invested in the outcome. Strike out, pop up to short. I hate Brandon Backe. Nice play by Uribe over a diving Crede (I think).
7th Inning: Oswalt's still out there. Tim with more insightful analysis, saying the starters aren't going to pitch complete games. Thanks, Tim! Four pitch walk to Konerko. Ah, pitching change. I believe this exemplifies "Pooping Your Pants On The Biggest Stage." Nice job, Roy. Springer coming in and gets The Other Eyechart to pop up. Rowand strikes out. Crede grounds out on the first pitch. Very nice, a moment of silence for Rosa Parks. Holy crap, this is awful. I think it's time to stop the "God Bless America" during the 7th Inning Stretch. Activity in the Sox pen. Ehhh, walk. Teeny tiny little bunt moves the runner over. Bagwell pinch hitting. Time to get Garland out of there. This could really bite them in the ass. Bagwell pops it up. Hee hee, Craig strikes out. I was wrong. Nice job, Garland.
8th Inning: Wheeler in, fly to right. Mr. I Don't Believe In Dinosaurs singles. Pinch runner steals second; not a very good throw. Fly out to deep left. Well, for what passes for deep left in that bandbox. The Other Gooch grounds to third. Politte's in and Joe says he's from St. Louis. Cotts is up in the pen, he's also from the area I think. Maybe the Cards should be scouting in their own back yard a bit more. "We Like Lance-A-Lot"? Really, really bad. Nice, strike out. Walk. Cotts coming in. Gah, another walk. Dustin!! Our old pal. Shit, tie game. Well done, Hermanson. Strike out ends the inning, but....
9th Inning: I've noticed Astros fans boo just about every pitch they don't get the call on. Not every pitch is a strike, morons. Dye swings at ball four and is thrown out. Konerko is HBP. That really did hit him, it wasn't a phantom hit like the other night. Gallo is coming in. He makes cheap wine. But he gets AJ to ground out. Time for Lidge. Will he blow another one? God, Konerko is bald. Lidge didn't blow it yet, as Rowand strikes out, but there's hope if it goes to extras. First pitch pop up, nearly had a collision. Uh oh, walk. Oh, no! Pick off throw gets away and Burke goes to 2nd. Jesus, now he steals third. Walk to Biggio. Setting up the double play. Now, does Taveras squeeze? Well, no. It looks like he's trying to hit a nine-run home run. No, Tim, you really shouldn't try the squeeze with two strikes. Now he strikes out. Shoulda squeezed, Phil. IBB to Berkman. This is not a very good situation. Jenks still has his sweatshirt on. Ah, seeing Backe's reaction was almost as sweet as the strike out itself.
10th Inning: Crede grounds out on the first pitch. Strike out. So, um, yeah. Lidge looks good. Another strike out. Lead off walk. That's never good. Pitching change. Foul pop up on first pitch. Pop up to center. Another walk. Good grief. How many walks can you give? Grounder back to the pitcher.
11th Inning: I really don't know if I care enough to stay up much later. Yawn. Qualls in. Lead off single.... C'mon The Other Gooch! Oooh, almost a pick off. Podsednik steals second on a pitch out! Iguchi flies to right, Scott starts to tag up, but somehow screws up and can't make it to third on a terrible, terrible throw (which luckily for the Astros stays in play). Dye swings at some crap and strikes out. IBB to Konerko. Now Jenks is warming. Timo Perez pinch hits, who grounds to first on the first pitch. Lame. The buzzing again. I want to kill. Biggio strikes out. Jenks hits Taveras. Walk to Berkman. Uh oh. Ensberg pops out. Another comebacker.
12th Inning: Meh. Strike out. Crede grounds out. Broken bat pop up. Just end the game. Lane flies to left. Strike out. "This game is like swimming though syrup." If you say so, McCarver. Strike out.
13th Inning. That was a funny looking pitch, Qualls. C'mon, Widger. Yet another lead off walk. It sure would be nice if one of those came around to score. Oh, man. Nice DP. Though, it was helped by the fact that Podsednik just stood there and looked at the ball for a few seconds. TOG strikes out. Marte in to pitch. Lead off walk. I want to go to bed. Biggio strikes out. So does Taveras. Berkman grounds out.
14th Inning: If you're still with me at this point (and really, there's nothing happening so you shouldn't be), did anyone else notice that the scoreboards in Chicago said "That's A Winner"? That pissed me off. Dye gets a single. But we've been down the road of having the lead off guy on before. I'm not going to get my hopes up. WOW, that was one hell of a double play. Text book. BLUM HITS A HOME RUN!!! 6-5! Rowand gets on via a slooow grounder to third. Crede also hits a slow roller, but it's right along the line and Ensberg lets it hit the bag. OK, Blum has terrible hair. Walk to Uribe loads the bases. For Widger. Who WALKS. Easy RBI, 7-5. Rodriguez comes in. Podsednik strikes out, badly. Ensberg strikes out. There's a shot of a sad lady on her phone. Walk to Palmiero. Backe goes out to the pen. Lane pops up. Uh oh, 1st and 3rd after Uribe can't handle the ball. Buehrle in to pitch. Popped up!!
I'm not spell checking this. So, I'm sorry for any spelling mistakes. Join RHM and I tomorrow night for some World Series smack. Night, all.
1st Inning: I live in the Pacific Northwest, where one would think people could drive in the rain. This is not the case and I missed the top of the first. I did not care enough to TiVo. Uh oh, Garland has only pitched once in three weeks. Yikes. Ugh, Biggio leads off with a double. And I remember that the buzzing makes me want to kill. Hee, Taveras can't bunt. Blech, Berkman singles in Craig. Let me take this opportunity to say that the Astros are a bunch of freaking babies. You play an outdoor sport, pansies. Quit whining about the roof. Double play! Time to take the field, Astros.
2nd Inning: So many commercials. Sweet, Konerko gets a double on the first pitch. Damn, the Astros are really complaining about the roof; they're even bigger babies than I thought. Why is Bud wearing headphones? Now a walk. Good start. Can the Cardinals disown McCarver please? Damn, line out right to the shortstop and Konerko is doubled off second. Nice play. Another walk. Oswalt's not exactly pounding the strike zone. Oswalt is officially a hick. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Pop up to first in foul territory. Oswalt escapes, but he threw a lot of pitches. Lamb flies to center. The Astros have shaved. Lane went to USC, eh? I like our USC grad better. Joe takes a shot and the umpires and Tim giggles a little. BARTMAN!!! Only fat. Eh, walk. Good at bat, though. Cute little double play ends the inning.
3rd Inning: Are all the women at the game wearing a ton of make up? Geez, ladies, it's a baseball game, not a rodeo. You aren't there to be seen. Must be a Texas thing, like giant, teased hair. These Charles Schwab commercials are freaky and need to go away. Garland looks ridiculous trying to bat. Backe is such a punk. Someone is going to kill him. Strike out, ground out, tapper back to the mound. Way to let Oswalt settle down, Sox. Missouri has hosted the most World Series games behind New York. That is one useless piece of information. Grrrr, safe at first. DAMMIT, pitch out, but Everett gets hit on his way back to first. I hope that hurt. Oswalt bunts him to second. Biggio drives him in. Arughhhhhh. First unearned run for the Sox all post season? Do we really need to know about Biggio's pants? I think not. Strike out, cool. Berkman singles and Craig's at third. Hit out of the park...foul. Another single makes it 3-0. Strike out. Gah. Very messy inning.
4th Inning: Taveras almost goes all Reggie Sanders, but makes the catch. NOOOOOOO. NOT SCOOTER! The White Sox have apparently stopped trying to make Oswalt work. Mark Mulder's on the TV. But he's playing golf right now. A. J. Pierssdfnoiehny keeps stepping out to break Roy's rhythm, something I wish the Cards had done a few times. And he walks. Nice play by Ensberg. Wow, I remember Boatman's Bank. Shit, Lane hits a home run. He does sprint, which is something I guess. God, Tim is retarded. Comebacker for the first out. Oswalt's swinging out of his shoes. Joe is not convinced that was a home run.
5th Inning: It looks like the Sox may have gotten hosed on a call. I really can't tell on the replay. But it was Angel Hernandez who made the call. Shannon won't even say his name. Wheee, Crede hits a home run! Nope, Lane's hit was not a home run. The shoe is on the other foot tonight. Should I try to make some joke about Shoeless Joe? Garland is trying to bunt. That's cute. Whoa, Garland pulls back and laces it foul, but then strikes out. Podsednik singles and it's 1st and 2nd. C'mon Other Gooch! Yay Other Gooch, into center field. Terrible throw by Taveras. 4-2 now. Houston's pitching coach wasn't too happy Oswalt was getting away from his fastball and he may just be right. Dye has a very good at bat and bloops a single into center to score another run. Konerko doesn't learn anything watching Dye's at bat and flies to center. C'mon Other Eyechart! And he unloads into center and the Sox have the lead!!! Some female Astros fan has this look on her face of complete disgust, like "How dare they?" Well, honey, they're better than your team. Get used to it. CFB, I'm thinking. Another walk. Tenth batter of the inning. Oswalt hits Crede, who is pissed. Much yelling between the benches. Garner needs to shut up. Springer isn't really getting ready to pitch-he's unwrapping gum. Dang, fly to right ends the inning. C'mon Garland! Biggio grounds out. Taveras pops out. Whoooo, 46 pitches in that inning for Roy. Rowand makes a fine running catch to retire Berkman. 1-2-3.
6th Inning: Garland grounds out quickly. Can anyone understand Ozzie? Bleh, 2 very quick outs. Ensberg can't handle the ball and The Other Gooch reaches. Dye hits an easy fly to center. You know, I remember almost nothing about last year's World Series. I don't know if I've blocked it out or if I spent those four night completely drunk or what, but it's a lot of fun to watch having so little invested in the outcome. Strike out, pop up to short. I hate Brandon Backe. Nice play by Uribe over a diving Crede (I think).
7th Inning: Oswalt's still out there. Tim with more insightful analysis, saying the starters aren't going to pitch complete games. Thanks, Tim! Four pitch walk to Konerko. Ah, pitching change. I believe this exemplifies "Pooping Your Pants On The Biggest Stage." Nice job, Roy. Springer coming in and gets The Other Eyechart to pop up. Rowand strikes out. Crede grounds out on the first pitch. Very nice, a moment of silence for Rosa Parks. Holy crap, this is awful. I think it's time to stop the "God Bless America" during the 7th Inning Stretch. Activity in the Sox pen. Ehhh, walk. Teeny tiny little bunt moves the runner over. Bagwell pinch hitting. Time to get Garland out of there. This could really bite them in the ass. Bagwell pops it up. Hee hee, Craig strikes out. I was wrong. Nice job, Garland.
8th Inning: Wheeler in, fly to right. Mr. I Don't Believe In Dinosaurs singles. Pinch runner steals second; not a very good throw. Fly out to deep left. Well, for what passes for deep left in that bandbox. The Other Gooch grounds to third. Politte's in and Joe says he's from St. Louis. Cotts is up in the pen, he's also from the area I think. Maybe the Cards should be scouting in their own back yard a bit more. "We Like Lance-A-Lot"? Really, really bad. Nice, strike out. Walk. Cotts coming in. Gah, another walk. Dustin!! Our old pal. Shit, tie game. Well done, Hermanson. Strike out ends the inning, but....
9th Inning: I've noticed Astros fans boo just about every pitch they don't get the call on. Not every pitch is a strike, morons. Dye swings at ball four and is thrown out. Konerko is HBP. That really did hit him, it wasn't a phantom hit like the other night. Gallo is coming in. He makes cheap wine. But he gets AJ to ground out. Time for Lidge. Will he blow another one? God, Konerko is bald. Lidge didn't blow it yet, as Rowand strikes out, but there's hope if it goes to extras. First pitch pop up, nearly had a collision. Uh oh, walk. Oh, no! Pick off throw gets away and Burke goes to 2nd. Jesus, now he steals third. Walk to Biggio. Setting up the double play. Now, does Taveras squeeze? Well, no. It looks like he's trying to hit a nine-run home run. No, Tim, you really shouldn't try the squeeze with two strikes. Now he strikes out. Shoulda squeezed, Phil. IBB to Berkman. This is not a very good situation. Jenks still has his sweatshirt on. Ah, seeing Backe's reaction was almost as sweet as the strike out itself.
10th Inning: Crede grounds out on the first pitch. Strike out. So, um, yeah. Lidge looks good. Another strike out. Lead off walk. That's never good. Pitching change. Foul pop up on first pitch. Pop up to center. Another walk. Good grief. How many walks can you give? Grounder back to the pitcher.
11th Inning: I really don't know if I care enough to stay up much later. Yawn. Qualls in. Lead off single.... C'mon The Other Gooch! Oooh, almost a pick off. Podsednik steals second on a pitch out! Iguchi flies to right, Scott starts to tag up, but somehow screws up and can't make it to third on a terrible, terrible throw (which luckily for the Astros stays in play). Dye swings at some crap and strikes out. IBB to Konerko. Now Jenks is warming. Timo Perez pinch hits, who grounds to first on the first pitch. Lame. The buzzing again. I want to kill. Biggio strikes out. Jenks hits Taveras. Walk to Berkman. Uh oh. Ensberg pops out. Another comebacker.
12th Inning: Meh. Strike out. Crede grounds out. Broken bat pop up. Just end the game. Lane flies to left. Strike out. "This game is like swimming though syrup." If you say so, McCarver. Strike out.
13th Inning. That was a funny looking pitch, Qualls. C'mon, Widger. Yet another lead off walk. It sure would be nice if one of those came around to score. Oh, man. Nice DP. Though, it was helped by the fact that Podsednik just stood there and looked at the ball for a few seconds. TOG strikes out. Marte in to pitch. Lead off walk. I want to go to bed. Biggio strikes out. So does Taveras. Berkman grounds out.
14th Inning: If you're still with me at this point (and really, there's nothing happening so you shouldn't be), did anyone else notice that the scoreboards in Chicago said "That's A Winner"? That pissed me off. Dye gets a single. But we've been down the road of having the lead off guy on before. I'm not going to get my hopes up. WOW, that was one hell of a double play. Text book. BLUM HITS A HOME RUN!!! 6-5! Rowand gets on via a slooow grounder to third. Crede also hits a slow roller, but it's right along the line and Ensberg lets it hit the bag. OK, Blum has terrible hair. Walk to Uribe loads the bases. For Widger. Who WALKS. Easy RBI, 7-5. Rodriguez comes in. Podsednik strikes out, badly. Ensberg strikes out. There's a shot of a sad lady on her phone. Walk to Palmiero. Backe goes out to the pen. Lane pops up. Uh oh, 1st and 3rd after Uribe can't handle the ball. Buehrle in to pitch. Popped up!!
I'm not spell checking this. So, I'm sorry for any spelling mistakes. Join RHM and I tomorrow night for some World Series smack. Night, all.
