Tuesday, February 01, 2005

I'm not going to make some lame "Soup's On" joke

I guess Jeff Suppan is the number four.

ON FIELD

  1. Defense
    i. Hustle (5) Oddly, he and Morris had the same number of SB/CS (11/3) last year. 7 points.
    ii. Agility (7) He's a good fielder. 12 points.
    iii. Catcher? (5/0) No. 0 points.
    iv. Awareness (4) He can usually get a ground ball when needed. 7 points.
    v. Defensive Stance (6) Definitely above average. 10 points.
    vi. Pitching Face (5/0) He mostly just looks likes he holding his breath. 5 points.
  2. Offense
    i. Hustle (5) Should one horrendous baserunning blunder follow a man forever? I'm tempted to say yes. But won't. 7 points.
    ii. Batting Stance/Face (6) Slightly better than Morris. 7 points.
    iii. Power & Average (6) Poor guy only had four hits last year. He's been good in the past, however. 9 points.
    iv. Line Drive v. Fly Ball (3) Oh, not really. 3 points.
    v. Chatty (3) Not especially. 3 points.
    vi. Selflessness (7) Suicide squeeze! 14 points.
  3. Dugout/Clubhouse
    i. Press Conferences (4) Aside from the predictability, good. 6 points.
    ii. Quotes (4) He's going to make his pitches. Blah. 4 points.
    iii. Chatty (4) He's not very animated, but he is chatty. 8 points.
    iv. Fights (3) I don't think he'd be averse to hitting someone with a pitch. 5 points.

OFF FIELD

  1. Personal Hygiene (8) Niiiice. 16 points.
  2. Commercials - local (4) No. 0 points.
  3. Commercials – national (5) No. 0 points.
  4. Commercials - MLB (5) No. 0 points.
  5. Dress (5) He dresses so well, it's almost metro. 10 points.
  6. Rumors (3) Nope. 3 points.
  7. Awards (3) None. 0 points.
Suppan ends up with 136 points. Now, a lot of this comes from his nice grooming and the clothes I bet his wife buys, but perhaps he can give Matt something to aspire to.

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